Why I Should Be A Team PokerStars Pro

Ok, first off, there is no ego here. As you know (hopefully), I have zero ego in this game. Let me explain why I should be a pro. First off, I'm not moving into that house. ZOMG, WAT? Ya, dude. The day before I was scheduled to sign the lease (I was already told for a fact I was getting this house mind you), I call up the realtor to ask one more question. She answers the phone and says hi followed by an unusual chuckle. Maybe this is when that whole poker reading vibe comes in. That chuckle, is a bad chuckle. WTF is going on you dumbass chuckle? She begins to tell me a lengthy story about this and that. I could ask you if you want the good news or bad news first, but then I'd just have to pretend like any small bit of good news even exists. Here is the gist of it. The owner of the house is having a financial crisis (economy blah blah blah) with her job and in order to save herself she has to sell the house and not rent it. AKA: I can't move in. Oh, ok, that's no problem. Understandable. Here's the kicker though. And this is worse than when that fish's kicker plays and you're just like how the hell did his A4o hold vs my A2o. How did his kicker even play! F that kicker! Well, F this kicker...I already put in the 30 day notice at the house I'm at now. Folks, I am on the verge of becoming homeless. So that's why I should be a Team PokerStars pro. Just one from the homeless sector. Luckily, I'm viewing a home within the hour so maybe my fortunes will turn around very soon. But until then, I have been stressed out of my mind since last Friday when I found this out. It's like a 6 day mental downswing. So, until this stuff gets settled, I can officially say that I am potentially the sickest homeless poker player this world has ever seen. Although, I'm probably only in the same field of comparison as drunks and addicts who play by the fireside with their jumbo sized decks at 2am under the bridge. Hmm, homegame anyone?